It's All About the Balance
I’m a libra. If you have any Libra's in your life, WE NEED BALANCE PEOPLE!!!! Don’t ask me why it’s taken me some 30-odd years to figure out why I seem to be in a constant search for “balance”. Our astrological symbol is a scale and we are of the air element. So much I have to learn about my nature and how my very being is affected simply by the date on which I was born. From astrology.com,
“The element of Air is attached to the signs Gemini, Libra and Aquarius. It also rules the Third, Seventh and Eleventh Houses. It is rarefied air which usually surrounds those graced by this Element, as this is the marker of the intellectual. Airy people are smart thinkers and handle abstract reasoning well. They love to analyze, synthesize and probe. Do you have a dilemma? Hand it over to an Air sign and watch them go to work.
Air Signs are also about communication. These individuals want to get the word out, and it's not likely to be fluff. They are alert, curious and perceptive. The world as seen by an Air sign will be an interesting one, as their analysis and subsequent explanation (hopefully in terms we can understand) will indicate. Those influenced by Air are inventive and clever. They see all sides of the equation and are able to glean the best approach. Balance is important to these airy folk.
So, are Air signers fresh as a summer breeze, or are they howling like the wind? Probably both, depending on when you catch them. While these folks are often calm and collected, they can turn cold if their equilibrium is upset. A word to the wise: There's little upside in baiting an Air sign.
Another plus with Air is that it manifests itself in a most humane way. Those influenced by Air can truly wear another's shoes, as it were. They are objective, cooperative and really want to help make a better world. There's no prejudice with these folks -- just a bright and shiny idealism that can accomplish much.
Air Signs are communicative, intellectual, clever and fair. They can blow hot and cold, though, so beware of a chilly draft!”
This morning ladies and gentlemen, I was blowing a chilly draft. Or more so a chilly gale-forced wind.
My littlest babe was up twice in the night and ended up sleeping in our bed. The hubs left EARLY to go to work to fix a piece of our equipment. I slept too late. I yelled at my kids non-stop trying to get out of the house (HOW do people hold their composure after the FIFTH time asking your child to put on his or her jacket?!?!). I arrived at daycare later than planned and as a result everyone was outside, so I had to change my little’s poopy diaper and then attempt to get all three dressed in their winter attire so they could join the outside festivities. And then, just as I had wrangled the littlest into her gear, I hear little voices coming in the front door. Outside time was over. By this time I was sweating and trying not to swear out loud. I managed to hold off my meltdown long enough to give big hugs and smooches to all three kiddos before I got to my van and let the sobs roll.
I was so angry!!! Angry at the whole morning. Angry at myself for sleeping late. Angry at myself for KNOWING I need downtime, and yet booking my previous week completely solid so we had not ONE full day at home with nothing going on. Just angry. My rational voice was saying in my head, “it’s ok, you don’t have to be in a rush,” it’s not their fault you showed up at almost lunchtime and that you don’t put your kids’ winter clothes on to drive into town in the morning,” “you’ll be ok- you’re just feeling overwhelmed… get to the office and take a breather and you’ll be ok.”
The reality though, was that I did not feel better when I got to the office. All I could think of was that the day was half gone and I’d accomplished nothing. The Mom Guilt was raging strong at my attitude trying to get everyone out of the house and I wished I could start the morning over and that it included a little more calm, and a little more loving encouragement to my kiddos. And to myself.
So what happened next? I put some Transformation oil in my diffuser, turned it on, and made sure to put a drop in my hands. I sat at my desk, turned on this album, folded my hands together over my nose, closed my eyes, held my Amethyst Om mala, and breathed deeply. I looked at my agenda. I circled two commitments I was going to reschedule. That decision alone took weight off of my overwhelmed, off-balance shoulders. My bestie came for a lunchtime visit on her lunch break. I ranted and we ranted and I didn’t have to feel bad for feeling in a rotten raging bitch of a mood. It just was. And I let it allllllllll out. I made a fresh cup of coffee. I went to my reiki/reflexology/raindrop therapy appointment. I noted that it was now 2:00 and I hadn’t actually “accomplished anything” yet. I cancelled my gym time. I pulled out one of the “things” I was supposed to accomplish today and started it.
I then allowed myself to acknowledge the fact that I HAD actually accomplished something today. I had taken care of me. I had gotten past the rage of the morning, and settled into a more centred lull. I’m still not flying high with inspiration today, but guess what? Today’s just not that day. Today I’m tired. I’m tired from a busy week and I’m tired from the negativity of the world. I’m just tired. And then I read an article in Over The Moon Magazine (link) about listening to my intuition….. and there came those words. Libra. Balance. Stillness. And it reminded me of what I ALREADY KNEW. And I acknowledged that I, Elsa, LOVE inspiration and busyness. I am passionate and loving and powerful and have a deep desire to affect change in the world. I get stuck in my head for hours at a time just dreaming of all the possibilities. But then I need to come down. And I need to centre myself and take some time to just BREATHE and allow that inspiration to just brew and allow myself to just LISTEN to my truths.
Now I find myself at 4:50 pm. I will go pick up my kidlets from daycare in one hour. I am no longer chiding myself for getting “nothing” done. I am instead feeling incredibly grateful that I have the knowledge and the tools (and the SUPPORT) to turn my day around. I am grateful that last night I took a little time to plan meals for the week, so I know what we’re eating for supper…. and that having that plan will allow me a little extra time to snuggle with my kiddos, talk about their days, and become present and mindful the way I wish I could have been this morning. I have crushed the self-doubt I was feeling this morning about what a failure I felt like, and am acknowledging the beauty in this journey. Acknowledging that I can get fired up and pissy….. and that it will be ok….. Because in the next moment I can feel better and be more.
Love,
Elsa