So. Much. Guilt.

Ladies, you know what BREAKS MY HEART into a million pieces?? Seeing you sit across the table from me and tell me how guilty you feel. The magnitude of guilt we feel as women is nothing short of insanity. A year or so ago, I wrote a blog post about guilt (find it here). Here we are a year later and this year I’m not lamenting over my OWN guilt, but I am sitting in the desperation I feel in YOUR guilt. Guilt holds such truth.

That truth is different than what you may be telling yourself. Much different.

You see, you think you feel guilty because you are lacking as a mother. You feel guilty because of your shortcomings as a wife and as a community member. You feel guilty because of what you have that others do not. You feel guilty for not being “more” organized and “more” fun and “more” outgoing. You feel guilty for the birthdays you forgot and the dessert you ate and the run that you didn’t go on.

But the truth? The truth that screams at me when you sit in front of me telling me all the things you feel guilty about (and oh you are SO not alone), is how UNWORTHY you feel. You have so many amazing things in your life. You have so many opportunities and so many experiences and friends and lovers and communities…. but yet the guilt overwhelms you. You are beautiful and unique and bring so many things to this world that no one else can… but yet the guilt overwhelms you.

Can I be so bold as to ask you why on earth you don’t think you’re worthy of the good in your life? Why are you so undeserving of all that is good? What will you ever do that will FINALLY make you worthy?? Will that day ever come? Or will you continue on this path of trying to reach an elusive finish line that is forever out of reach?? Will you ever be skinny enough? Will you ever have enough money? Will you ever work hard enough that you are worthy of the hot vacation or the boat or the day at the spa? Will you ever be a good enough mom? Will you ever feel like an adequate wife? Will saying “no” to the bowl of chips make you more worthy of love? Will clean toilets and a spotless floor make you more worthy of respect?

The reality is that until you start TRULY BELIEVING you are worthy of all the best things life has to offer, you will never feel like you are ENOUGH. Until you actually believe you are ok exactly as you are, you won’t know what it feels like to be free of guilt. You won’t know what it feels like to be truly FREE.

You are the prisoner and you are also the guard.

Today I want you to look yourself in the eye and say, “I am WORTHY of all the very best life has to offer. I am ENOUGH and I am WORTHY. I ALLOW PLEASURE AND ABUNDANCE INTO MY LIFE.”

So very much love to you today and always,

Elsa