A Lesson in Trust

A little while ago, I had an opportunity come into my life. The timing seemed like it was meant to be and so I reached out and connected. I spoke to the people I needed to, I crossed my t’s and dotted my i’s, I researched and I analyzed and I perfected, and I presented my case.

And then I waited. 

And I waited. 

And I waited some more.

Patience is not one of my strongest virtues. Being passionate and being patient aren't really qualities that coexist well. In my case, the passion definitely overshadows the patience.

But yet I waited.

This opportunity was a big one. It would have meant a significant increase in my family's financial abundance. But, it wouldn't have been without sacrifice. A lot of sacrifice. Truth be told, I was excited by the possibility of this new thing, but I was also terrified. I honestly didn't know where I'd fit it in. And I knew that if it worked out and I did fit it in, there would be a lot of other things that would have to go - like mowing the lawn and housecleaning and daytime coffee dates. I knew I had to push past these fears and be open to a change. I knew this time I needed to take the leap, and so I did.

But then I spent almost a month in the land of uncertainty, with no definitive answers. Each day during that time was a battle for me. Each moment of “the unknown” weighed on my heart and on my mind.

There was a time not that terribly long ago when a situation such as this would have made me (very literally) crazy. There were many years when the anxiety during this period of waiting would have eaten me alive from the inside out to the point of barely functioning.

This time around, I decided that I was going to do my very best to detach emotionally from the outcome and TRUST that everything would work out the way it was truly meant to. I prayed and I recited affirmations. The couple nights I thought I might fall off the deep end from waiting, I pulled out my favourite form of therapy - a big blank piece of paper and a pen. I listed and I planned out the “what if’s”. And it helped.

In the end, the opportunity did not come to fruition. The journey, however, was a valuable lesson for me in TRUST.

I could have chosen to never risk putting myself out there. But I did, and I trusted in my curiosity and my desire to challenge myself. I might not have have had the waiting game if I hadn't taken the leap, but I also would have missed out on some extremely important introspection and examination of my priorities and my true desires.

In being faced with a “no,” my ego was absolutely wounded. I admit that at first it felt very much like failure; however, I was very quickly able to see past that story and trust that everything was working out for the best. I also have a renewed sense of enthusiasm about the time I DO have to work towards my (big!) goals and about the things I already have to commit time to in my life.

At the end of the whole experience, I am feeling incredibly grateful - for opportunities, for possibilities, for my brain and my experiences, and in my ability to see the positive side of “failure”.

Today, I'd like you to take a minute to name that “thing” that is weighing on your mind and on your heart. I want you to pull out a piece of paper and a pen and make a pros and cons list or a daily plan or whatever it is you need to do to release some of your whirling thoughts. Then, I want you to close your eyes and say thank you. Thank you for what is and for what will be. And finally, I'd like you to take a deep, long breath, open your scared little heart, and allow yourself to let go of a little bit of fear. In its place, I’d like you to make room to allow yourself to trust and have faith in what is meant to be.

If you'd like, use this mantra throughout your day:

So much love to you!

Elsa