A Square Peg in a Round Hole
Since childhood, I've always felt a little bit "different."
I always felt misunderstood, unseen, and like I just didn't "get" the stuff that everyone else just "knew".
These feelings carried on into adulthood and turned into never feeling like enough and feeling like I was failing at all the things I "should" be doing or things I "should" be doing better. It spiraled into completely losing the essence of who I really was, and loathing the person I was trying to be (and failing at).
When I started my business, it was because I had done a LOT of internal work to start to see myself in a different light and to find my true self again and to learn that she was actually OK. I wanted to shout from the rooftops that I had been to hell and back but I DID IT. I was still here to tell about it and I wanted every woman to know she had the power to change her reality as well. In fact, these are still the things I'm passionate about in my coaching business! Let me tell you though, there's nothing like building a business to keep you learning alllllll the lessons you thought you'd already learned.
The last few months have been a whirlwind of a journey for me. I've done a lot of "firsts" and I've had a lot of personal successes, but I've also had some really big crashes. Like really big, lol. I've realized that although I had done a lot of work to accept myself in life in general and thought I was kind of "done" (haha!), that I was still desperately trying to place myself into neat little categories and create a business and life that fit into the pretty little boxes of online business and soulful entrepreneurship. The things I felt like I "should" be doing and was TRYING to do just weren't working for me. I physically couldn't MAKE myself do some of the things I knew I should be doing to grow my business. The physical resistance I felt was so real.
It wasn't until I got to a point of intense burnout followed by a nasty flu that I stopped pushing long enough to realize I wasn't following my own advice. I was pushing where it didn't feel good and I was following someone else's rules, and the result was that I started to completely lose touch with my why and my mission and the passion that led me to become a coach and start my business to begin with.
Cue the inner work. And conversations with friends and trusted mentors and my coaches. And journalling and prayer and going within and within some more and some more.
The result?
I understand myself more today than I ever have. I've pushed through some nasty unhelpful beliefs and uncovered a few more I'm working on. I've committed to running my business ONLY in a way that feels good to me, and to TRUSTING that I know how I can best serve my amazing existing and potential clients. I've committed to stop being a square peg trying to fit into a round hole.
I've realized that I've always felt "different" because I AM DIFFERENT. I am extra super sensitive and intuitive and compassionate and loving and smart. I have a larger than average need for spiritual connection and real, deep connection with the people in my life. I am different, and that's what makes me awesome, just like your "differentness" is what makes YOU awesome.
The "greats" of this world aren't the people who managed to mould themselves to be like the mainstream. They're the ones who had the courage to embrace what ONLY THEY have to offer and they created the mould. They didn't sacrifice parts of themselves to fit into the round hole - they carved a new hole. They created their greatness with what was already in them.
I'm not the mainstream, and neither are you. So why do we so desperately feel like we need to be like the mainstream?? You feel different because you ARE different, and THAT is what is so magical about you.
Love,
Elsa