5 No-Nonsense Steps to Creating Change that Lasts
It’s easy to get stuck in the day-in day-out monotony of our lives. It’s easy to live day-to-day just “getting by”. Staying inside our comfort zones is easy. But sometimes our comfort zones can start to feel like we’re dragging our feet through the mud but never truly being able to escape the muck.
Change can be scary. The magnitude of the unknown can be overwhelming, paralyzing even. But sometimes, the muck gets so thick, that the unknown starts to be more appealing than the status quo. Sometimes, we realize the path we’ve always known is the path that will lead us to despair and we realize if we want to stop “doing” life and start really living it, something needs to change.
I’ve been in the place more than once where I’ve known something had to give, but I had no idea where to start. I’ve been in lands so desolate I wasn’t sure I’d ever make it through to the other side. But I have made it through to the other side. It’s possible. It was possible for me and it’s most certainly possible for you.
My mission in my life and in my work is to be the voice in your head reminding you always that a rich, fulfilling life is yours for the taking. You are loved, you are supported, and you are powerful far beyond what you think you are.
Through my years working as a coach and through my own experience navigating some pretty mucky times, I’ve discovered a system for change that works, with no miracle cures or magic potions involved. It’s work, but it’s worth every second you spend doing it.
My five no-nonsense steps to creating change:
Clarity- get clear on who you are and what you want. That might seem overwhelming when you read it at first, but it’s actually very simple. Get curious about who you are inside and why you’ve made the choices you’ve made in your life. Start thinking about what’s really important you and what’s really NOT. You might already know that sometimes you make choices that aren’t in your best interest, but even those choices say something about who you are and what’s important to you, and they tell stories about the beliefs you have about yourself and your world.
Listen to your feelings- I believe strongly in intuition. Deep down we each KNOW which choices serve us and which ones don’t, but many of us have lost touch with that little voice deep inside that guides us in the perfect direction. Real, lasting change that feels GOOD can only occur if we re-learn to hear that voice and then listen to it. Your intuition is never wrong!
Create space for what you desire- We all have the same 24 hours in a day and we all have the responsibility of choosing how we spend those 24 hours. You might feel like you have no control over your days, but that is FALSE! There are always things that come up unexpectedly, but you have more choice than you believe you do- I promise. How are YOU choosing to spend your days? What are you saying yes to that you could say no to? And what are you saying no to that you’re dying to say YES to?!?! I constantly evaluate my days and my weeks to see where I’m over-committing, how I can be more intentional with the time I DO have, and whether or not I need a little more space to just breathe. My time and space needs change, and by regularly examining how I feel about my days I can plan and make choices accordingly. As a result, I RARELY feel like my days are running ME. And if I START feeling like I’m just doing life instead of living it, it’s my cue to make some adjustments!
Look your fear straight in the eye- If doubts and fears were gone tomorrow what would you be capable of? What are you really afraid of? Fear exists for a reason. It exists to protect us from danger and keep us safe. When our physical bodies are not in immediate danger, fear presents a beautiful opportunity to question WHY we’re afraid. Fear is completely normal- especially when we are navigating unchartered territory. But sometimes our beliefs about ourselves trick us into thinking we’re afraid for different reasons than we really are. As humans we are so desperate to be accepted that oftentimes we’re afraid of jeopardizing the acceptance of our peers. We’re afraid of disapproval, of attention we don’t feel we deserve, and of judgment. We’re afraid of losing control, of disappointing people, and of being seen as an outcast. Some of those fears are based on innate needs we have, but far too often we let them get out of control and they hold us back from everything we’re capable of. When you feel afraid, get curious about what you’re REALLY afraid of and whether or not you’re willing to let that fear keep you stuck. Real change is about questioning our fears and learning to navigate through the ones that don’t serve us to find the things that are truly important to us.
Rally your troops- We were never meant to navigate this life alone. We were created with an innate need for community and connection. I’m not sure where the idea came from that we needed to “do it all” and do it all alone, but these beliefs are simply not true. We weren’t created that way, and attempting to move through life never having to rely on anyone else just sets us up for loneliness, depression, and burnout. Allow yourself to be vulnerable, reach out to find your “people” and let them support you the way you would support them. Examine what you need to support the life you want to live and the person you want to be. Who do you go to when you need nurturing? Who do you go to when you want to feel inspired? Who do you go to when you need unconditional acceptance? Are you nurturing your need for community? For connection? People exist in your life who want to support you- so let them! Or maybe you need to step outside of your comfort zone a bit and find the people who will support you. They’re out there, I promise! I’m a firm believer that we need different people for different things and that also sometimes the support we need can be found outside of a person. Sometimes support is podcasts or recorded meditations or watching a really funny tv show. I created the worksheet My Support System for Awesomeness for one of my group programs in the past and today I’d like to share it with you to help you identify what YOUR support system looks like. Click the graphic below to download it!
Change doesn’t happen overnight- it happens one choice at a time, one question at a time, and one aligned action at a time. I’d love to know where you’re craving change, where you’re feeing afraid, and what you’re wishing for.
I’m sending you so much love as you begin taking steps towards the life you dream of!
Love,
Elsa